29. Dropping Balls Part 1

I bet you’re wondering what’s been going on with Football Guy as it’s been a while since I last mentioned him. It’s been going really well, rather too well in fact, as I’ve been finding myself feeling increasingly drawn to him. We talk regularly about everyday stuff, we sext regularly till I’m so horny that if I were a guy I would’ve been thrown out of several places for having a raging boner in public.

In fact is there such a law? Can you be thrown out of a place if you can’t control your erection? It’s at times like these that I breathe a sigh of relief that the only tell-tale sign I have of ragingly inappropriately timed horniness, is a flushed complexion and not being able to look anyone directly in the eye.

I truly do feel for you guys, I mean as a woman we can be siting on a bus or in the middle of a team meeting thinking the most inappropriate thoughts, and apart from the occasional blush or minute squirming in the seat, no-one would be any the wiser.

But of course that is what makes it all the more pleasurable, imagining what you’re going to do and what will be done to you in a matter of hours, and knowing that the people around you are totally unaware of the depravity going on in your head.

I’ll also admit I’ve loved it when Football Guy has texted back, saying that he’s unable to stand up from his desk for fear that someone may just lose an eye from the massive protuberance I have inspired through my malicious sexting.

The thing is, for me at least it’s become about more than just the sex, or indeed the sext. We talk on the phone, not just about what we want or plan to do to each other, but about our day and about what’s going on in our lives. It’s enough to make a woman think her NSA (No Strings Attached) guy actually cares about her.

And therein lies the rub so to speak, as you may have guessed and as all my friends warned me from the start, I’ve begun to have feelings for him. Yeah I know I know, who’da thunk it huh? You meet up with someone on a regular basis, have mind-blowingly earth-shattering, ear-drum burstingly great sex with them, you get along with them, and suddenly you find yourself wanting more.

Call me crazy but yes!

It’s an interesting one, part of the male/female divide. A key difference between us girls and guys is this- take all the above into account and typically a woman thinks – well this is going great, we work really well together, the sex is great, we have great fun and chat all the time.   In fact it’s going so well we should make a real go of things and make this official!

Whereas a guy’s typical response to the same situation goes something like this – wow this is going great, I love hanging out with her, the sex is great, we always have fun and I enjoy talking to her. In fact it’s going so well, why would I change a thing, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

From the outside both perspectives are perfectly logical conclusions, it’s just that in this instance I’m on the inside not the outside.

Football Guy had been quite clear from the get-go that he wasn’t really looking for anything more than sex, great sex of course being the preference, but nothing else. Now I won’t bore you with the minutiae of our conversations we had, but I had started scoping out whether there was any room for change in our current status. I hinted that I liked him a lot that I was extremely comfortable around him and would not object if he wanted to see more of me.

And he’d said pretty much the same too but with the added caveat that:

“Well I told you from the start that I don’t want to get into anything serious”

To be fair he’s right, he did say that, it’s just that as a blind, deaf and dumb child with learning difficulties and a pronounced speech impediment could’ve told me, clearly this was no longer enough for me.

So clearly something had to be done, and fast! In our last phone conversation I warned him that I’d have to extricate myself pretty soon, before I started to really fall for him.

He suggested:

“Well if you feel yourself falling, just back off for a while until you’re in control again”

To which I replied:

“Honey, if I feel myself falling it’ll be too late and I will have already lost control”

I’ve been there before, I’m sure we all have… that time when we know deep in our hearts that we really, really like the other person, but to be honest they’re just not that into us.

We string it out, we hope that with time they’ll see how wonderful and special we are and won’t be able to help themselves from falling head over heels for us. Only to be rudely awakened from our dreamy fantasies to find that – oh hang on a minute, actually they can help themselves, and oh look…they’ve helped themselves time and time again whilst we lie there like romantic ideological fools letting them do just precisely that.

So how have I dealt with this predicament I find myself in?

Well I’ll tell you that in the next post 😉

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