It’s a day later than promised I know – but dear readers, I suspect by now you are used to my usual tardiness in posting when I say I will…
I started this three-part post with a tale of a date that didn’t happen, so it only seems appropriate that I conclude with my most recent mis-adventure that ended up coming to nothing too.
I’d started talking to the newest online contender about a week or so ago. He seemed nice, a decent enough looking professional in his mid-30s, his profile said that he had no children and a good steady job – yep all the things that usually have me running for the hills. What could go wrong? Well clearly something did as we never actually met in the end.
How did it end up being a non-date?
To start off with our email conversations through the site were fine, we’d succeeded in jumping through all the communication hoops of likes/dislikes and questions such as, what would you prefer; death by rabid werewolves or rabid zombies?
I was comfortable enough that I felt happy giving him my phone number and we started texting. Now this first text seems pretty innocuous and to start off with it is, it’s just the context.
At about 7.30 in the morning I get a text from him asking how I’d slept – okay it’s not that weird I’ll grant you that, but given that I hadn’t met him yet, it just seemed… a tad too familiar. It wasn’t like I’d had a crazy night out before, and it wasn’t a morning after a date text so I couldn’t quite get why he was asking.
Ok so maybe he’s just a nice guy who is concerned about my sleep patterns, that could happen couldn’t it? So I ignore the first tingle of my spidey senses and put it down to a very newfound fear of intimacy on my part.
The next thing to set alarm bells for me was his request to befriend me on Facebook… huh??? Ok, again not so strange if we’d actually met, but hell I don’t give out my personal Facebook details to anyone I’ve just met… I’m not one of those people who collect ‘friends’ just to reassure themselves that they’re popular… I don’t need to – I know I’m not that popular and I’m quite comfortable with that. But to give out my details (and access to my personal life and my pictures) to a guy I’ve never even met? Hell No!
So as not to hurt his feelings I claimed not to have a Facebook account and neatly dodged the issue. He then started asking exactly where I worked and where I lived and at this point I was really not comfortable. It was something about his overall tone and over-eagerness that smelt suspiciously like clingy stalker material.
Given his over-familiarity, and I’ll be honest a lot of it was just female intuition, I decided that I was no longer comfortable going on a date with this guy. I could’ve taken the coward’s way out, I could’ve made my excuses, explained I had a highly contagious disease that meant all my limbs were gradually dropping off, or that I’d recently discovered God and converted to life of abstinence as a nun.
But no, I thought, I’ll be honest, I’ll tell him that I no longer want to meet him – and why, who knows, perhaps he’s had other women drop him faster than a leper’s desiccated hand. Perhaps he’ll even thank me for being refreshingly honest and pointing out to him the error of his ways?
Or perhaps not.
Yes I’ll admit to being ever so slightly naive in thinking he would take my politely phrased explanation for not wanting to meet him as anything other than a direct insult to his whole being. But seriously… the tirade of abuse I got from him was… well to be frank it was rather petty and quite a lot vicious.
I’d tried to be delicate in my email, I’d even said perhaps I was being a little over precautious, that he may well be a lovely guy but that he was just coming on a little too strong for my liking. His reply was just pure abuse and vitriol, I’d obviously struck a rather sensitive nerve.
And well yes, to be fair I was asking for it really, lesson learned – and if in future I meet a weirdo guy who give me that freak vibe, well I’ll do as I’ve always done in the past, delete them from my contacts, block them completely, and should I have the misfortune to run into them again? – claim total amnesia.